Jameis Winston: Funny on TV, Trash on the Field (And Kinda Just Trash in General)
Jameis Winston almost certainly has a future in sports media. Bright smile, natural charisma, and funny as hell. He even filled in on FOX Sports during Super Bowl week. The man has presence.
But when the world gushes over Jameis Winston’s personality, I find myself thinking about two women—one who accused him of rape at Florida State (a case that ended in a $1 million settlement), and the Uber driver who accused him of drunken sexual assault while waiting in a drive-thru. That case also ended in a settlement.
When everyone’s laughing at Jameis… I can’t help but wonder how funny they find him.
Yeah, I know—I’m a buzzkill. But I’ve also been consistent. I’ve criticized Deshaun Watson, Ben Roethlisberger, and others for their off-the-field issues. So if you think I’m biased against Jameis Winston?
You’re absolutely right.
But let’s try to be fair about his on-the-field performance. Here’s my totally unbiased, professional football analysis:
Jameis Winston plays like doo-doo.
His “best” season was 2019—he threw 33 touchdowns for the Bucs. That’s great!
Except… he also threw 30 interceptions.
Cue my favorite ESPN “30 for 30” joke. You’re welcome.
And what has he learned in the five years since?
Nothing.
In relief of Deshaun Watson last year, Winston threw 13 touchdowns to 12 interceptions.
At some point you stop calling it “gunslinger energy” and call it what it is: reckless, unreliable quarterback play. He’s not Brett Favre. He’s Homer Simpson riding a nuclear bomb into the ground—swinging his cowboy hat and yelling “Yeehaw!”
(And if you remember that episode, Homer was fine. It was just a fantasy. I know. You were worried.)
So why am I even talking about Jameis Winston?
Because Derek Carr just announced his retirement, and suddenly X/Twitter is full of people saying the Saints should trade for Jameis Winston.
Did… did we forget how Jameis left New Orleans?
It was Week 18. The Saints were up big on Atlanta. One-yard line. Final seconds. The sideline called in victory formation.
Jameis said, “Nah.”
In the huddle, Jameis and his teammates decided to run a fake kneel. Ran the ball off tackle for an unnecessary touchdown.
It was a “f— you” to the Falcons.
It was also a “f— you” to his coaches.
Saints-Falcons ended with the head coaches arguing at midfield instead of shaking hands.
If I’m the Saints, I’m not touching the quarterback who can’t respect the coaching staff’s orders.
Maybe it’s the Army vet in me, but when you’re told to kneel it out—you kneel it out.
It’s not hard.
Now look, maybe the Saints do need a quarterback.
But if I’m them, I’m looking elsewhere:
Aaron Rodgers (if Pittsburgh drags their feet)
Roll with what you have (Tyler Shough, Spencer Rattler, Jake Haener)
Call Cleveland about Kenny Pickett (because that QB room is jam-packed)
But trade for Jameis Winston?
In the voice of Randy Jackson: Yeah…it’s a no for me dawg.
Oh, and one last totally professional, very serious scouting take:
Jameis Winston looks like a booger eater.