Ban Jeff Ulbrich for Life! (Over an iPad, Obviously.)
You die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Remember a year ago when Jeff Ulbrich was getting praised as the guy who was going to save the Jets’ season?
Didn’t even take a full calendar year before media, fans, and former players were calling for his head on a stake.
(And when I say “head on a stake,” I’m picturing that random Uruk-hai head in The Two Towers — you know, the one stuck on a post when Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are tracking Merry and Pippin after that brutal fight?
Maybe that reference is too obscure. Maybe not. Real ones know.)
Anyway — here’s the situation:
Falcons Defensive Coordinator Jeff Ulbrich is catching heat because his adult son, Jax, snagged Shedeur Sanders’ phone number off his dad’s iPad and prank-called him during the NFL Draft, pretending to be the Saints’ GM.
The “prank” was basically:
“Hey, we’re gonna draft you!”
Just kidding. You’re still waiting.
The Falcons issued a formal apology.
They had Jax personally apologize to Shedeur and his family.
They acknowledged it was wrong.
Everyone involved did the adult thing.
And that should’ve been the end of it.
But nooooo.
Now a chunk of the sports media (and Twitter/X, naturally) is losing their collective minds.
“Fire Ulbrich!”
“Ban Ulbrich!”
“How dare he leave an iPad unlocked around his family!”
I hate to break it to you guys, but…
This isn’t a politician mishandling classified government secrets (Looking at both sides of the aisle).
It’s a freaking phone number connected to who gets picked to play a game!
And don’t get me wrong—
The prank was tasteless.
It was unfair to Shedeur, who was waiting for his dream to materialize.
And 21-year-old Jax Ulbrich deserves all the side-eye you want to throw at him.
But Jeff Ulbrich?
Come on.
Jeff didn’t prank-call anyone.
Jeff didn’t conspire to embarrass Shedeur.
Jeff didn’t even know it happened until after the fact.
You’re telling me a grown man should be professionally punished because his adult son grabbed a phone number off a device inside his own house?
If that’s the new standard, half the country needs to kick their children out of the house, immediately.
(And probably ban iPads while we’re at it. I bet Microsoft could get behind that idea.)
Having his own son break the trust of his own home feels like punishment enough.
The Falcons are not to blame for this.
Jeff Ulbrich is not to blame for this.
The NFL is not to blame for this.
And no, I don’t expect NFL coaches to operate out of SCIFs like they’re handling nuclear codes.
It’s football, not national security.
If Shedeur and his family are still upset that’s totally fair. That’s their right.
But the rest of us need to breathe.
This isn’t the Andy Reid situation.
(And for the record — Andy Reid wasn’t held professionally responsible for his son’s far more serious actions either.)
This was a dumb, tasteless prank.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Let’s all get some perspective.
Final Thought:
The only thing Jeff Ulbrich is guilty of…
is not setting a passcode on his iPad.
Lock your tablets, America!